This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How's work?
Spinning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
