If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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