I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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