I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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