i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
