We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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