I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
