Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
