Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
