How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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