dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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