bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
vagina is talking i cant
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
