There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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