what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
