i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
