Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
