I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
tell me about the eggs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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