trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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