I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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