there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
