Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my being single is dangerous.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
