Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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