lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
