I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
