Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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