i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
