i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
