As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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