ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
