you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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