I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
