youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
