He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
