you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
