i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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