Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
