I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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