Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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