so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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