ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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