I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
