Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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