party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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