he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
