I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Already got asked if we're dating
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
