that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
