pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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