haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
