If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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