dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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