just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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