We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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