scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am mentally ready for anal.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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