i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
