She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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