I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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