I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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