Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
