you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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