Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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