He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
fuck your aforementioned shoe
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
