I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
