I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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