Your tits are I can't wait for
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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