And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
